I've been absent, I know, because it feels like I've been working every day for the past month. I'm out of school, though, with TWO PASSING GRADES so far, which has me rather stoked as it means I don't have to become a stripper. Yay! To welcome this already amazing year, I've got a pretty long list of resolutions. Some people think they're silly, but I like to set goals for myself sometimes, and this is a perfect excuse. Topping the list are going vegan for lent (if not longer), getting over people I need to get over*, and becoming more independent. There are a bunch more, like:
- start driving the speed limit
- bring up my gpa
- get the perfect figure (36-24-36)
- make girl friends
- take more pictures
- join a club or two at school
Seriously. I freaked out for a bit, responded viciously, and held my own against his charm until he called me. Even then, I called him names and asked how he'd been living with himself for about half an hour, at which point I hung up to get dressed and go meet him at his friend's house. As a quick recap, the last we'd talked was Halloween, before he'd started completely ignoring my calls and messages. So I admit my weakness, and realize from telling this story that I look like a total fool for him. Maybe I am.
But life isn't a fairy tale, and I waited eighteen years to find a boy that flipped all the right switches in me. Even in high school, when I liked Tall Guy, then Tall Boy, and eventually French Boy, they only ever had my heart all aflutter. It sounds a little gross, maybe, to those of you that may be squeamish, but Random Boy is sexy. His smile, his mouth, the way he answers the phone; all of it just turns me on. It's insane and illogical, but hey. It is what it is. So I went to his friend's house, and we talked like nothing had ever happened. I slipped in a couple bitter little snippets here and there, but for the most part, we were the same twosome we'd been when we first met.
And then he kissed me, and all of a sudden it was morning, and he was afraid the house was going to start waking up. I got up to leave, and he came with me. Skipping over all the gory details, I snuck him out the next morning to go to work a zombie; running on about 45 minutes of sleep.
And now he's messaging me. I don't really know what to think or do, or even who to ask about it. Obviously, I should be ignoring him. Obviously, I should be running far, far away. But, by use of that particular strain of logic, I shouldn't have let him be my New Year's kiss. But he was. So what now?
Mini-Me says it might be good to just be friends, and take out all the benefits. My Work Bff scolds that I should completely ignore him. My Prima Ballerina has just said that she wants to meet him if he's going to be sticking around, but I don't know what to do.
Idk. Advice?
ON another note, it's sunday right now. Sorta. Technically monday, but I'm not going to count it that way. Yesterday, we had 200 Chinese walk-ins come into my restaurant wanting tables and food. I did the best I could, but only managed to seat 150 of them, and probably only 50 of them comfortably. None of them tipped well, all of them were irreparably rude, and I'm pretty sure a few of them talked about me in chinese right in front of my face! Worst day ever?
Earlier tonight, while I was complaining to the Chinese Bartender about his ill-mannered brethren, another busser came in and told me I looked cute the way I was huffing and puffing. The Chinese Bartender mentioned that though he loves me, he'd never have the "hots" for me because I'm white. He then went on to say that in all his 48 years, he'd only dated Asian girls.
I'm sorry, but this offended me. FIRST OFF, if I were to make the blanket statement "I only date white guys," I would be immediately tacked as a hardcore, disgusting racist. What gives other races the right to distinguish like that? ESPECIALLY because he wasn't even really distinguishing. It'd be one thing if he said "I only date Chinese women," because then at least he'd have some reason. He wasn't born here, so it'd make sense for him to only want to date women who could speak his language with him at home or whatever. But what about a Japanese? Or a Korean? Or a Viet? What makes them any better than a white or black girl?
Stupid.
Anyways. That was random, haha. Just sorta bothering me. I'm going to head in. I'll try, since I've got loads of time on my hands now, to write more. =)
ps: I didn't throw Random Boy's birthday present away. It was kinda/sorta stolen from me by the Vegas Bro. Like, he asked me why I had it and I told him why, and he decided that I shouldn't give it to a guy that I didn't talk to anymore. So he took it for himself. Jerk move, sure, since I'm not even certain he'll put it to good use, but it wasn't like I could have done anything with it.
